WHAT IT IS: Uriels' University is an ivy league quality educational system.
DEGREE REQUIREMENTS: To graduate this university, the candidate needs 360 course credits.This breaks down to 36 credits for primary school, 72 for middle school, 108 for high school, and 144 for college. The materials in these pages may be adapted to any age and grade level but the more difficult the content, the more credit it is worth.
THEORY AND PRACTICE. The credits need not be from Uriels' and life experience counts as credit,
If there is such a thing as truth, it is universal and accessible to all, and not only in books, but from experience s well.
This point was driven home to the Leopard (see below) when she handed in a philosophy paper (not at her own school but at her brother's new school, where she was in attendance to keep an eye on him after he had been expelled from this school as well for drinking, violence and vandalism etc etc--) and received the comment "you've read chesterton".
Since she had never heard of GK Chesterton much less cracked any of his tomes, she realized, that truth was obvious to anyone who listened, and not only the famous or those whose CV is stuffed with credentials.
CORE CURRICULUM:
We have a rather unique core curriculum consisting of three trimesters, one in Eucatastrophe, the other in BS theory, and the third, gaia theory. this was developed by the Leopard (see below.) so that her father, her brother and anyone else who was crazy, would not kill her family or anyone else.
The Leopard began to develop this "five dollar curriculum to remedy insanity" in middle school when she read the Lord of the Rings,(on her own, not as an assignment) then later, in High school when she read Walden, and finally, in college, when she read "i Giovanni Infelici".
The thesis must be on phenomenology and/or Frankfurtian bs theory; and a scholarly article summarizing this we recommend submission to an international journal of phenomenology. furthermore, you must demonstrate practical knowledge of GAIA theory and global garden government by having an active relationship with the earth. This could mean taking care of plants or animals or working on a farm. Finally, to complete the Eucatastrophe/musical psychology portion of the degree, the candidate must write their own histoire de coeur and perform it alone or with others in front of an audience as an act of self-expression.
THE ECONOMIC PICTURE: We need accreditation in order to be able to receive Federal grants, which permit free education to those who need and desire it; and to do this we need to comply with Federal procedures.
For this reason, we require a set number of credits, each course being worth 4 credits at the college level we require 36 courses at the college level.
NOBODY HAFFI KNOW: THE SILENT ECONOMIC ISSUE THAT HAS TO BE TALKED ABOUT IF IT IS EVER TO END.
Today's gospel involves one of the hardest lessons of Jesus: the workers who worked all day get one denaro, the same pay as the ones who started at five pm and only worked an hour. In other words, paradise is open to all, those who die for it and those who saunter in on Jesus' whipped back.
THe mercy of Christ is so scandalous and offensive that it is for the most part ignored.
The leopard took Jesus at face value and believed that her tormentor merited the same denaro that she did, however, all of this was hidden. So yes, this involves accusing people of wrongdoing which the leopard was scapegoated for. This is done not to be vicious oronly done to bring the truth to light, so that it may be healed.
The economic basis for this grew out of the experiences of the Leopard, who for 12 years from age 15 to 26 inclusive, was the 24/7 on call caregiver to a mentally ill older brother.
this works out to 36 years, because 24 hours is three shifts in a row. How much vacation time do you suppose the Leopard has earned at this juncture, according to US labor laws? It's an interesting question, isnt' it, for all those who thought she was lazy and irresponsible.
After the marriage, which the Leopard achieved by dating the girl's friend for 8 years in an absolute agony of misery, by no means did the stalking of her brother come to an end.
He even followed her to a ghetto convent in a violent and impoverished former fishing mecca, where she was hidden disguised as a postulant nun, and ruined chance after chance she had for love or career advancement, as she was obliged to date either muscular bruisers, or when possible, well armed mafiosi in a sort of bizarre "detente" to insure she had a safe house in which to sleep.
LYING TO A PRIEST: Yes, this too. -this is how she became a fake postulant nun. The Leopard three or four times a week gave "dont do what I did speeches" to youth retreatants at a friary, in which she told her brothers' story as if it were her own,painting herself as the worst of hoodlums,for relative safety, a paltry $7.50 or so an hour and the chance to chow down at a generous table.
(though not as generous as the one the friars had, we note and we also note that a man similar to her brother worked there as a musician and threatened her with violence on occasion until he was locked up as well)
she also confessed her brother's sins in confessionals, and one day when a bunch of youths were fearful of their priest, an energetic Argentine, she went in and the priest said, "have you ever considered being a nun?"
.the leopard froze, as she realized that based on her false confessions, she was being offered a way out of her hell FOREVER, a chance to ditch the fake boyfriend and take refuge in a Latin American convent, where no violence would ever find her, FOREVER.
The Leopard received no pay, no vacations, no shelter from the deadly violence, and skipped an uncounted number of classes in both high school and college, still graduating with a cum Laude from a rigorous and very expensive womens college, (which she had partially paid for through jobs at a supermarket and at the college bursary) through the intervention of one of her professors with the administration which was in denial and had violated the terms of the contract.
Since the popular and gregarious Leopard was nominated to the student council without even running, she learned from the school nurse, 85% of the students suffered from some form of mental illness, so the administration was overwhelmed but instead of taking steps to uncover the root cuases of this problem, they practiced a hit or miss approach while attempting to save face and of course, donors.
The Leopard was a naturally peaceable person who did not relish accusing anyone of mistreatment but a minimal disclosure is necessary to explain this initiative.
BOGOTA GRADUATION: DEAL WITH IT COLOMBIAN STYLE.
The muscle car is so much a part of present day gangster culture as to be a cliche.
From the video of white iverson to NObody haffi know, the pricey ride juxtaposed with joshua tree deserts or urban jungles is a requisite prop, and girls are often seen as trophies to be displayed alongside or in the car (see TIK TOK by Keisha for example.)
Bensonhurst graduation, the tufted ear tune about being schooled in the ways of grand theft auto, was a musical tribute to Bensonhurst and the old school sicilians who listened to doo wop and often, were ridiculously religious (daily mass, anyone?) while incorporating present day mob culture, but the real truth behind the Queens mafia in its modern drug based "GOMORRAH" iteration, is something much less humourous.
Today's reality grows out of the drug lords who worked for Escobar. QUeens in the time of the Leopard was a blend of old school sicilian mafiosi and the newcomers, the latin farmers and middlemen who were encroaching on gambling and extortion with the incredibly lucrative drug trade.
Gotti and the steak house murder made headlines in the seventies, but no one saw the Leopard's Bogota graducation, in which her Colombian sequestrador, who had escaped from Jail with the aid of friends known only as "alvaro and juan carlo" began to train her as a killer.
First you have to learn never to flinch if you have to run someone over, he said matter of factly. Pull over. He got out of the car and stood in the road.
Now run me down, he said, dont worry you're inexperienced, I'll jump out of the way.
I can't do it, she said.
Im not asking you, I'm telling you, said the narco. now do it.
The terrified leopard soon caused a car accident during one of these sessions, in which they fled the scene and a piece of glass was lodged in her lip.
Can we go to the hospital and get this out of my lip? she said?
No, the police will come. Just deal with it, said the narco.
End of story.
MONKEY ON YOUR BACK
When she tried to bring the truth to light however, The Leopards life experience did not impress a "harvard psychopharm professor however, who allowed her into a pharmacology class intended for lab chemists based on her overall ability, but gave her a C over her thesis that all of the DSMV ailments were fundamentally based not on chemical imbalances caused by drug abuse, but on the fear that caused people to abuse drugs in the first place. His lectures on monkeys and their lab-induced addictions to cocaine were of secondary importance, she argued, only providing a way to a fat paycheck for fearful shrinks who could not face the horror of the deranged.
Whre is your evidence? He asked. Personal experience, she answered, but the grade remained.
HOSTAGE TO HORROR
In fact the leopard got all her credentials while being continually menaced with death.
hoping to go to law school to buttress the wobbly family unit by starting a common fund, console her mother and another sibling and prevent possible suicides, she was on her way to take the LSAT when taken hostage by the furious loco, no doubt suspecting she would succeed in gaining financial freedom, and shame him yet again by refusing to be his lover.
He forced her into the living room,--all others had fled the house in terror, including the judge-- locked all the doors, ripped the phone out of the wall when her friends wondered if she needed help.
SHE"S NOT ABLE TO COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW the brother screeched, I"m gonna kill you, I have to kill you, he babbled, I can't be responsible for what happens here.
THe leopard, cannot even recall if the police came, as they so often did in response to the screeching, or if she slipped away when he was not paying attention for a second, as she did an equal number of times.
FRAKFURTIAN BS THEORY AND MUMIA ABDUL JAMAL
When she finally did attend classes, at night, quietly in a school that did not require the LSAT, she threw herself into her theories with a vengeance.
First, Frankfurtian bullshit theory versus phenomenology. Upon hearing of Mumia Jamal, the only thing she needed to know was that he was in prison on death row, and in her mind, this was wrong per se.
she stood up and said, lets go get him. What? Said the startled professor, who had been roused from lethargy by the directness of the student.
Let's file a brief now over hte internet, before they kill him, said the leopard decisively.
Impatient with the professors irrevelant excuses, which in her injustice-honed mind were a waste of precious time, She left the class, and went to the library to read all available briefs on the case. behind the desk was an african american cop from philly, working to put himself through school as she was doing and when he found out what she was researching, they began to speak about Mumia. I knew Mumia and I knew the cop who died too, said the librarian, I was on duty that night. For real, said the leopard, whipping out a pen, tell me EVERYTHING.
I-I really cant comment, stammered the librarian as a white man glared in their direction.
Only now does the leopard realize, the librarian did not want to be reported for a black panther sympathizer. What a crazy, crazy world.
CUBERNETIKA AND HUGO GROTIUS.
She next approached gaia theory with a paper on Hugo Grotius, the "father of international law", called "kingdom of heaven, laws of earth" which she presented this time to a Harvard educated professor who represented the mentally ill, and whose arguments in court she had been priviledged to see on one occasion.
by studying international maritime law, alongside a bunch of merchant marines and casino boat croupiers and captains who wnated to know how to outrun the feds, together with restitution theories, she realized that the sea was truly a paradigm of the whole gaia cybernetic: our common property, and the place where nation states could begin to redress past atrocities and form what Uriels now calls the Global Guadalupe Garden Government. Or you could call it the Grotius Garden government, if the madonna-love of catholics offends you.
So one could say when the leopard speaks of experiences of insanity and terror at the hands of family, she knows whereof she speaks.
However, there is a proviso to this "life experience=credit", and that is: provided the requisite academic standards are understood and demonstrated by all, which is why exams and a thesis are also required.For a more detailed account, please see The Leopards Tale.
URIEL UNIVERSITY